I was young but I wasn't naive I watched helpless as you turned around to leave And still I have the pain I have to carry A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried
After all this time I never thought we'd be here Never thought we'd be here When my love for you was blind But I couldn't make you see it Couldn't make you see it That I loved you more than you'll ever know A part of me died when I let you go
I would fall asleep Only in hopes of dreaming That everything would be like is was before But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor.
In the end, I just couldnt, couldnt make You see. I really ain't that dumb, Ya know.
Honestly, Where did I go wrong?
7:20 PM
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Homerun with slippers. Something dumb just happened. I don't know what to say anymore.
I have a speech and assignment to do, But i have a feeling I won't do it in the end. Good Job, I know. Brilliant, Yes I know. Best, Yes I know again.
Okay, Okay, I don't know what i'm doing.
Byebye.
If You were looking for something else, You better turn the other way, Cause this heart has already busted wide open.
9:53 PM
Saturday, July 29, 2006
I just read _____'s blog and i'm so irritated with whatever _____ wrote. I mean its like so___. Okay, I dont knw why but i feel like this is just so in a sense, annoying. #$%^&*()(*&^%$#!#$%^&*(
I shan't elaborate more cause it will end up in more trouble and besides I'm not in a very good mood so the entry might end up a little more fucked up than its meant to be. And No Bird, Not everyone was happy ytd. Oh well.
Lastly, I think my gran is pure evil. Nope, correction, not think. No doubt about it, She is.
I couldnt make You see it nor couldI make damn sure.
6:49 PM
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Mediocre. A simple word yet so strong.
Today is such a great day i must say, Loads of slack periods. (: Chemistry is such fun cause of Mrs C. She makes me wanna laugh my head off. Bung Na was being annoying by blowing her nose really loudly and force Mrs C annoyed. She wore some lookalike cowboy shirt today and we were joking that it was her husband's. I told her the shirt makes me laugh and she said that she will wear it whenever im sad to make me laugh. (?!) She says she wont wash it and wear it tmrw! HAHAHA. I just realised we have very weird and lame teachers. She said loads of funny things but im too lazy to blog it all down. Ha.
English was quite alright, I spent like 20 mins looking for my worksheet. Brilliant, I know. (Yes Faith, its your freaking line. XD) And AS USUAL, NO ONE was listening to Ms ___. Oh well. I dont really like her, I never thought i'd miss Ms ___, but i somehow do. Ahh well. I must be crazy. xD
Oh, Faith gave me this friendship band that Denise mades and gave her. Fussy pot Faith wanted a nicer one so I took it and put it on my phone and now my phone looks like some olden day era's pigtails. And I know Faith is in love with it now. :D Hahaha, That ah dai couldnt even see where her book was. Okay, Lazy to elaborate and that was SOOOOOOOOO Random.
Trng was fine, The wind was nice, the skies were nice. Everything was nice and well. Just that, This was Jc's last trng. Oh well.
Its Thursday already and well, time is passing so fast that i dont knw what is really going on now. Besides, I don't even knw what the fuck I'm doing anymore, With You that is. I don't know if I'm taking a step back or forward now. Should I just stay still then?
We're play pretending to keep me here.
Ahh well, Emilee just got out for Sg Idol. Okay..
I AM SO RANDOM.
Dear K, a part of me died when I let You go.
9:04 PM
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
When things are better left unsaid.
Dear You,
I hope You're happy now and yes, I'm sorry i lied, Its the for the best. The best for Us.And, this is the very last time i'm ever gonna hurt You. I hope You will understand. For You, I will. Right. I guess that doesnt matter anymore. Whatever happens, You will always shine brighter than anyone else. Lastly, 406477096805453027299 and Goodbye.
Sincerely Yours, Me.
P.s I'm still not over You.
You take what's Yours then I'll take mine.
5:28 PM
Monday, July 24, 2006
My lies, Your lies. So what? Tsk.
Do You remember? You should have known when you ask me to swear. I lied, so what? the hardest thing.
Well this is not your fault But if I'm without you Then I will feel so small And if you have to go Always know that you shine brighter than anyone does.
Trng was alright. Sch was alright.
Goodnight.
11:03 PM
Sunday, July 23, 2006
I'm going to throw away this love, Just like You did.
5:38 PM
Friday, July 21, 2006
The sun just wouldn't shine. Since You went away that is. Ahh well.
My days have been quite cheery actually, thanks to Faith and Candice. (: Oh, Candice is my new SPM! XD We wore the same _____. Go figure. :D
Today, Sok threw up the gummy bear that Mr teee the bee gave us and it got stucked up in the fan. Okay, No, it sticked to the fan. We were like omg, sok ah, so goon. She makes me laugh till my eyes wanna fall out. Ha. Oh, and she and I were playing with the spraying water thingy in Chemisty today. We were acting like we dont have water at home so we come to the sch's lab and bathe in distilled water. xD
Oh and Charis ah. That one used the hose to spray at me, when nice me didnt even do anything to her. Okay, I think she kinda felt left out from all the fun Sok and me were having. HA. Anws, Mrs chew came over and scolded us after Charis fell over from runnning away. She told us not to tell anyone she is our teacher. Whats with the sudden disability to acknowledge her own students la. And I told Faith and Bird that she looks ALOT like this certain someone. Ha. Just older.
Maths test was alright, i thought Varietion was gonna help me in the freaking test, OH GUESS WHAT, I'm gonna fail cause of it. Good Job man. I don't like maths. Oh talking about maths class. Faith makes me wanna knock my head against the table half the time and she makes me wanna disect her skull to see if she even has a brain. HA. XD
Oh oh, I rmbed one particular maths lesson when we were drawing the graphs, her FOREVER FRIENDS ruler went missing and this is what she said or rather something along the same lines la.
F: I lost my ruler! How! D: Is it this one? (Holds up a transparent ruler) F: NO! Its a forever friends one! D: What?! Okay.. F: Wah lao eh, the stupid ruler cheat my feelings can! Still come and say will be my friend forever then disappear la! D: ?! Hahahaa.
Suan ku that one. XD She said alot of lame stuff today but i forgot already. Haha.
Oh, btw she is now officially known as AH DAI. XD But i still love her so very much. (: Ha.
I'm gg off to Battle of the bands i think. I'm abit lazy to drag my ass out of here.
" Sometimes she's hot, sometimes i'm cold, sometimes my head wants to explode, but when i think about it, i'm so in love with her, every other time.... "
I'm so bored i think my head is about to explode, so i love You itunes bery much for entertaining me oh so much. I'm just wasting space here sooooooo..
Bye.
- Its getting harder each night. Can't slip, Can't look You in the eye. Can't let You see what You mean to me. So much just to try to keep up above in my head, instead of going under.
I heard the reverberating footsteps Synching up to the beating of my heart, And I was positive that unless I got myself together, I would watch me fall apart. And I can't let that happen again'cause then you'll see my heart In the saddest state it's ever been.
4:42 PM
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
If i let go, We're history.
And yet, i have to.
Yes baby, I'm saying Goodnight.
open those eyes, there aint no sorrow.
Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun. would you please put it to my head.
10:44 PM
Monday, July 17, 2006
1+1= 2 2-1=1 1=?
Go figure.
Riddled with defects of character.
11:26 PM
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Nothing goes right without You.
7:33 PM
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Whats this thing with not eating cause you're sad!!!! Maybe cause i cant live without eating, BUT STILL. YOU WILL LIKE, DIE? HAHA. ( I bet You knew that.) I knw from past experience and even that is common sense!! OH MAN. DUDES. EAT.
IM GONNA BE THE FATTEST IN TOWN. Tsk
11:40 PM
ring ring. no response. oh whatever.
- Mum, Dad, I aint your trashbin. -
Pathlight. The only thing i could rmb of it was Bird and me walking in circles, back and forth. Well, thats basically what happened and what we did there. And alot of picking balls. Oh wait, I rmb something else. This scary boy grabbed my arm and started shouting in my face, his name's Justin.(Yes, He scared me so much I rmb his name. :D) Then he walked off and turn around later to point at me and started shouting again. You should have seen my face, I was like tio shock la. Oh well. He left after that. Saw Matthew and his family. (No, Anna, Not the one that has a linking with You.)
Ps with Faith, Candice and Sokyi later on. (: We went spotlight and i found a plastic bouquet of flowers and I PROPOSE TO CANDICE TO BE MY GF! SHE SAID OKAY! XDDD Ha, But its only for the day. (Thank Gawd. :D)
Watched Poc.We sat front rows and it was right at the side, so we could hardly see. Oh, this two guys came up to us and still can say that the seats we were on were wrong when they were in the wrong cinema. Good job man. Anws, in the end, we pushed up the armrest and we all squeeze into 3 seats la! and Sokyi found a pen and declared it very loudly.
The show was nice. Cept that I have a Sokyi scaring me when she came back from her business. She kept telling Faith she needs to shit and Faith just kept laughing. There's also another Faith who keeps grabbing my sleeve when she gets scared. And the best of the best, Candice Ho MinZhen. SHE WAS LIKE USING HER TOES TO STROKE MY CALF LA! THEN SHE FELL ASLEEP DURING THE SHOW AND I HAD TO WAKE HER UP. -.-
Oh well, but all in all, its a funny show, and yes i laughed the loudest among all of them. They ah, No sense of humour one la.
Rushed home and we saw some gay guy in the mrt and Candice just couldnt take her eyes off him. I wanted to break up with her on the train la! but i.. forgot. Ha.
OH YA, I JUST RMBED. When we went up the escalator on the way up from the serangoon station, Sokyi was like standing next to me and i was still asking Faith where Sokyi is. Omg, Sokyi ah, you so tall also no use. XDDDD
Home.
And tuition. My teacher should just turn into a woman la, So pmsy. Tsktsktsk. Tk was like dont knw doing what la. He's funny.
- ______, Im not your spare tyre. - And You, You just made my mood turn 180 degrees. And im lost at what to do again. This time, I dont knw what is on your mind. Ha, 95%, 4% and 1%. the 1 percent please. Usted me completa pero sé que yo me puse completo usted. O-kay. Random. - Alot's been going on, But i have to shut my mouth. And time since to be passing faster than ever. Saturday night is ending already.
There's also something wrong with ___. But its for the better i guess. Okay, I will shut up.
Had fun with Faith, Candice and Sokyi. The combi of the three of them is like you can laugh non-stop. (: They make me happy. :D Even typing this makes my mood change. Ha. Love.<3
What a long post.
Yet again? Ha. Thats right, Baby.
the saddest songs on repeat.
10:36 PM
Friday, July 14, 2006
i hate you. i hate being told what to do. i hate you and you.
i need new parents. -
Lunched w Wy. Tennis and swimming with Charms, Ju and Clare. Swimming was fun. (:
tonight sucks. and its friday night.
Pathlight tmrw. Pirates of the carribean tmrw, Maybe.
- Don't you see, I'm the narrator and this is just the prologue. Gf just called, the first she did was laughed and then she asked some bimbo joke.
Muriz: Why couldnt the bimbo kill the fish? D: Huh!? I dont knw ?! M: Cause she tried to drown it. HAAHHAHAA (Hell yes, You can imagine my face. -.- I was like watching Anime la!)
Muriz: okay okay! Now, why couldnt the bimbo kill the bird? D: Cause she tried to make it fly? ( I know, I know, How stupid. Wasnt thinking. :D) Muriz: NO! Cause she threw it over a cliff!
Oh gf, gf. Oh, and did i mention she came to school late today? Imagine our dates, she'd be there like 12 hours late :D
Sch was kinda fun. (: Biology was okay, I MANAGE TO DRAW A HEART. Omg, amazing since my best drawings come out in a form of a stick men. But oh oh, Candice lost her wallet. And She told me she was joking abt it to Anna abt her wallet gg to get stolen when she left it on the table for awhile while she went to the general office.
Well, Spotcheck and everything. Came back to class and this is what Candice wrote on the board: Dear thief, can you please return my ez-link cards, my van nistelrooy(?!?) card, my ..... YOU CAN TAKE THE $40. Love, Candice.
Guess what, In just barely a few seconds, BungNa burst in and told her she found her wallet, But the money was gone.
So she quickly changed it to, Dear thief, please return my $40 dollars cause i need it for my brother's 21st birthday. If you return me, I WILL DO YOUR MATHS HWK. Love, Candice.
?!! Hahaha. Like the theif would let herself be knwn?! ha. I offered her 40 dollars to do all my maths hwk for the year! :D I have such a weird maths partner. Ha.
Chinese was a havoc! HAHAHA. NI YAO HUAN DI KU MAH!? XDDDD Ry is just the funniest, And I love reciting to Lou. Ha. Oh, i just read her blog and i just realised Houlaoshi called her a MONSTER!XD
Okay, The rest of the day flew past. Out with D.
There's trng tmrw, And thanks to stupid BIRD, who kept talking abt BEST FRIENDS, I got it Ytd! DAMN IT LA. BungNa got it today! Ha. Mb Charis will get it tmrw, or later or whatever la! :D
- 3 more mins to the end of another what could have been. ahh well. Random. - I will shut up, cause in the end, You'd make me look like a fool again. make me look like the villian, its alright, it aint the first time anyway. - things aside, You (: Just made me a happy person tonight. (= BAKA! XD - Its been a long post, and SHIT, i have a poa test tmrw, and the only journals i knw abt is the "Diaries" we wrote to the teachers in primary school. God bless me.
So we'll pick back up on that on another page.
11:57 PM
Monday, July 10, 2006
These days are way too empty. im living in our memories. hownowbrowncow?
Is it feelings or just memories?
I hate being caught in the middle.
Be the angel from my nightmare.
Slip into this tragedy, For You have spun this chamber dry.
10:24 PM
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Clare is full of nonsense and she never cease to amuse me like how she amuses herself. Silly girl. This is what i got when I told her to FISH watch instead of BIRD WATCH! And then she told me Fishes are boring. So i asked her what so interesting abt birds and see her lame reply.
And hear Your voice of treason; Anna is the captor of my heart says: really
And hear Your voice of treason; Anna is the captor of my heart says: what do birds do man!
Bird watching says: they pluck their own feathers..
And hear Your voice of treason; Anna is the captor of my heart says: HAHAHAHA
Bird watching says: bite their own feet
And hear Your voice of treason; Anna is the captor of my heart says: WTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bird watching says: and amuse me=D
Clare o' clare, You are so weird. :D
10:17 PM
i thought, maybe, the outcome could have been different, and stupidly put myself through hell again.
12:35 AM
Friday, July 07, 2006
i blow anna's mind, and she's my miracle babyyyyy! omg, candice is gonna kill me. :D
-[edited- 2230]
I need to get these words out before I choke. i wonder if all im doing is, opening myself up to vunerability and Your attempts of murder.
Lunch with B, C and D. (I edited it cause of Clare. :D BCD! :D) Tennis.
Life is mundane.
Oh, smth new. Its ironic how You use to give us your smart alec advice. Back to You, Karma my dear, Karma my dear.
What's tomorrow? Who knows.
I should have known, If I let you into my heart, that You would be tearing it down from the start.
Oh what a lovely song, Faith ahh faith. Your never-ending emo songs. Ha :D
Karma, Oh Karma.
"that's all anyone wants from anyone else, not love itself but the knowledge that love is there." Yes, its from Bird's blog. Well, so true, so true. would i be lying if i said love You?
OH OH! Was listening to this song, And it made me think of Emo kid. :D
Miracles happen, miracles happen You showed me Faith is not blind I don't need wings to help me fly Miracles happen, miracles happen.
Get it? Ha, Dig that Faith. :D You need miracles to be show that You're not blind! :D There can be miracles... -Sings. Okay, Maybe we need even more than miracles. :DDDD
9:47 PM
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
i hate it. i hate it when you do that thing you do.
"are you okay?" how the fuck do you expect me to be, im no superman.
we couldnt win in the end.
9:48 PM
with a smile? im no superman. - [phone rings] M: EH jieeeee, CAN YOU HEAR ME?! (shouts in my ear) D: Huh? Yeah? M: Okay, GOOD! Just testing out my new ear piece! Okay, Bye! My mother is the weirdest/most bo liao mother on earth man. And i thought she was gg to scold me for gg home later then i told her i would. -.- When i asked her why she call me and not others, She say no one else to call. Where's J for lame situations like these? Tsk.
Ps with D today. Was suppose to watch a movie la but there wasnt much shows and the timings were all wrong. Headed to Swensons(Think Chicken baked rice.:D ) The water smelt like toiletbowl water and i spilled it on the table much later. OHHHHHHHH, And we saw Utt and Denise keller(Spell?). D was hyperventilating at how hawtttt Utt is. Okay la. We walk past both of them later. Denise keller is like SUPER DUPER SKINNY. I want! :D Wait, i sound like Rachel Chng. ha. I love chicken baked rice. Okay, random.
Arcade for awhile later and we played the table thingy when you have to hit the small disc like thing into the other person's hole/opening/goal. Whatever la. D still can still come and tell me, YOU SO LOUSY LA! Just cause I let the first disc in easily. In the end, I won her 8-4. Dig that sucker! :D
Met Faith for awhile, HER BAG IS SO AUNTIE LA! Like those go market one okay! xD Bowling later. My fingers hurt now, Thanks ah. I wonder who's stupid idea is it man. Tsk! XD trained home and smth happened to D on the way. HAHAHA. Im so tempted to blog abt it but she will murder me. Alright , Im ranting.
There's sch tmrw. Shit. Im still in holiday mood. and no, i havent done my THREE revisions of maths. Ahh well.
Still ringing in my head - I cant believe i was a fool. Thought that , that was only meant for me. Turns out, Im just another shit thing to you. Rah, What a fool.
The price aint right, You aint no bob barker.
6:01 PM
be my escape. what'cha gonna do when You've got the heart but not the mind?
Mm ending ceremony today. What an embarrassment on stage. Arcade with netballers. I was so excited for House of the dead that i knocked the gun on my lip and it was bleeding half way through the game. And i was like freaking out cause my fingers were filled with blood. Ha.
Daytona and shooting baskets. Oh, we saw this really funny girl. She was shooting baskets when one of the balls got stucked in the hooop so she used another ball to try to hit it down. BUT It got stuck and she tried to use another ball and IN THE END, ALL the balls got stucked in the hoop one after another. We were like " Omg, BEST! " :D:D
I almost forgot, JANICE IS BACK! YAY!!!!! :D SHE AND HER CHILDISH ACTS! HINT HINT! :D
Okay, I shld stop, Im half way through my cup of cereal and im so lazy to blog blog blog. And im worried abt _________. Stupid girl. She shld just go and die la. Im praying she will faster go die. :D
And when I Walk away just watch the clock I bet, I Don't even get around the block.
=]
12:29 AM
Sunday, July 02, 2006
stay here, dont put out the glow. brazil and england lost. =( last night was one hell of a night. oh well.
- i hate goodbyes. i hate goodnights. most of all, i hate what could have been.
